Thursday, July 23, 2009

Banned from Netflix

My wife is one more bad movie choice away from being banned from Netflix.

We joined Netflix, as I told you in this post, and it was one of the best decisions we've ever made, both financially and as far as entertainment goes. I still feel that way. However, let me reprint something I said regarding one of our first movies we picked to be on our list:

The Wife picked this one because she likes old movies (nope, I didn't know this when I met, proposed or married her... but it would have only made her more attractive as you'll see), and because she likes Marilyn Monroe. I seconded this pick because I'd like to return to the days when big boobs and curves made a woman pretty, and bones poking through skin made a woman dead.

Parts of that statement are still very much true. I still think Lindsey Lohan, the chick from new Superman movie and that horrible surfing flick Blue Crush, and other walking stick figures are ruining the self-esteem and health of women everywhere by being too damn skinny and thinking that is what makes a female hot when they should have just asked a normal guy like me. And I still like classic movies. But I want you to pay close attention to the first four words in that quote: The Wife picked this one.

Gentleman Prefer Blondes was one of the worst movies ever made. It's a musical, with almost-naked gay men dancing around a cruise ship. Trust me on this one, don't get it.

Last night The Wife went 2 for 2 in the stinker category. She picked Bride Wars with two more examples of the "looking like an Ethiopian from the 1980's will only make us more attractive to the opposite sex" club, Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson. It is perhaps one of the worst chick flicks ever made. The plot, what little there is, might be the most convoluted thing ever written down. At one point, everyone, audience included, knows that a break-up of one couple is coming. But the writers couldn't think of a good reason for the couple to break up, so they picked... no reason at all and then tried to pretend it was the best reason ever. Oh, and then they decided to pray that no one watching the movie would notice.

So The Wife gets one more chance at this whole picking movies through Netflix thing. And it comes with Confessions of a Shopaholic. I don't have high hopes here considering her current batting average, but the funny redheaded chick from Wedding Crashers is the star, so maybe it'll be good.

Ok, maybe that's asking too much.

1 comment:

  1. Not that it really matters but Kate Bosworth played Lois Lane in Superman Returns. Sure, Lohan isn't anything I'd want to watch either, but if you really plan to avoid the chick from Blue Crush, make sure you avoid seeing anything starring Kate Bosworth.