Nights Out

In the past two weeks, The Wife and I have spent a couple of nights away from The Son. It wasn't our first night away from him, mind you. But they were the most memorable.

The first night we were invited to attend "a party" at the home of some friends. I put the word party in quotes not because it wasn't a party. It was in fact a party. The couple hosting didn't lie to us or anyone else. They just... left out some crucial information.

The Wife said that the party started at 6:30 PM. We arrived at 7:00. Which was right on time according to her. I still haven't convinced her that being "on time" doesn't mean "fashionably late." Oh well, I won in the end because she read the invite wrong; the thing started at 7. And by the way, read that sentence again. Some of you are humming "Win in the End" from Teen Wolf, aren't you? Me too.

Once we got there, the girl hosting the thing said, "Forgot to tell you guys... a lady's going to be here at 8:30. This is really a sex toy party!" My wife's jaw, I'd like to introduce you to the floor. Y'all be good to each other. Yep, it was a couples sex toy party. I immediately looked to a friend standing next to me and asked, "Clear up for me the difference between one of these and the beginning part of a swinger's get together?" He didn't have an answer.

Later on in the night, a guy was talking to me, The Wife and another friend of ours. He tried to remember the name of a particular breakfast place right on the beach. He said they had great French toast. My wife came up with the name, which wasn't weird, but a regular name for a restaurant.

The completely sober guy responded: "Oh yeah, that place is gangster. I mean, seriously gangster."

Gangster pancakes, waffles and orange juice. I don't have a joke here.

The next weekend, we went to The Wife's 8th grade class reunion. You read that right. Her 8th grade reunuion. Not high school, not college... middle school.

A grand time was had by all who attended mostly because me and the bartender spent half the night entertaining the whole room with random Tin Cup quotes. Ok, we were just making ourselves laugh, but hey I thought it was fun.

At least the night turned out to be gangster.